This post is ones that is very important for me to write but one that is extremely difficult for me to post. Because of this I ask that you note that this is my personal experience and thoughts on a situation that occurred for me. Everyone has different experiences and thoughts but these are mine so please be gentle with that. Thank you x
Hypos or lows, they happen anytime any place don’t they? We have no or very little control over them. The ones that hurt and scare me the most-the ones that occur in public.
Yesterday I was out with my new friend from college in a new city where we are both studying for six weeks. I’d tested and was 4.6 so had had some carbs and we started searching for a supermarket to find a cold drink. I began to feel low and explained this to my friend, by the time we reached the supermarket I was struggling with my words and vision and my head was spinning. Upon reaching the drinks isle I was having black spots in my vision and was struggling to stand. Eventually I managed to work out which drink was diet and which had sugar and found the check out, along the way I’d found two king sized crunches, mentos and a creme egg. Reaching the self checkout I somehow managed to scan and pay for it all. By this point I was barely able to see and had pulled my sunglasses down to help and hide me crying. I had black spots in my vision and nothing was in focus; I was beginning to shake, couldn’t speak well and was terrified I was about to collapse. I managed to tell my friend I had to drink there in the supermarket which (thank goodness) she understood and accomodated. I tested and was 2.2 😭
My friend sat with me next to the checkout for about 15minutes as I tried to get sugar into myself. She said I was really white and looked terrible. I went through various stages of the shakes and being unable to express what I needed all while trying to remain upright and not cry.
I was humiliated, my friend had asked to hang out and I needed up turning myself into a public spectical who she had to babysit and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it 😭 I felt like a horrible friend and failure as a person.
With hypos at home at least I can lie down and sob while I go through the shakes and the sugar kicks in without anyone seeing. At least I am not in anyone’s way. At least no one has to know what happened.
For my friend I am so grateful, I will never be able to tell her exactly what it meant for her to sit there with me, talking and making sure there would be assistance if I needed it. But I really wish she hadn’t had to. I find it terribly difficult to accept that this happened and whether I like it or not will probably happen again.
What can I do? Well I can work as hard as I can to control and maintain my blood sugar. I can carry fast acting glucose with me. I can do my best to explain to whoever I am with what happens when I have a low and what I may need them to do to help me. I can wear medical ID so that their conversation with a 111 operator is a lot smoother should they have to have that conversation. And if the situation does arise I can talk openly and honestly about it and its effects afterwards. And I absolutely have to come to a place were I know I did everything I could to prevent and improve the situation. It’s not much but in these situations it’s all I can do.
How do you all handle your public lows? What do you have in place in case you have them?
Thank you for reading my thoughts and experince, as always if you have any questions please fire them at me.