At week 12 I was seriously doubting my decision take on a pump but I am so thankful that I decided to nut it out! Looking back I do not know how I managed to keep going on shots or maintain reasonable control!
So what have I learned in my 365days?
I’ve learned not to be scared of technology, if you get to understand it and learn to work with it, it can make your life a LOT easier. That although we have some amazing technology available it has it’s moments were it fails, moments were your brain and human side need to kick in and make the important calls. That having something attached to me 24/7 is not actually that big of a deal. That pump alarms are the most annoying noise ever! (especially at 0300). The importance of uploading your pump and really looking at the information its collected, especially if your numbers haven’t been good. That just because I’ve been at this for a year doesn’t mean I know it all.
I haven’t just learned positive things though. I have learned that you only get results if you put work in. That you can put in all the work you can muster and get bad results. That you can analyse all you want and find no causes or patterns. That it can hurt, physically and mentally. That it can get in the way. That it can be difficult to explain.
Having my bloods under control has let me see how high or low blood sugars actually affects me, that it impacts not only how I feel but how I react to the world around me. It has let me see that I never felt ‘good’ and has let me experience what it is to feel ‘good’.
I have come to a place within myself that I have accepted my pump, it is part of me and I have accepted my diabetes along with it (although that doesn’t mean that I like it or want it or don’t have days were I hate it) and I want to do everything I can to help others do that same.
There is probably more that I have learned but at the moment I cannot think of any.
For now I am exceedingly grateful for my pump, I know that not everyone is lucky enough to have access to one. I really look forward to learning even more about myself, my pump, my diabetes and how I can get all of them to work together to increase my quality of life and decrease my HbA1c.
Hope your all doing well 🙂 have a great evening.